So this is always the hot button topic for every single Christian person over the age of 18. What do I do with my life now since I'm not married? haha ok I am being a little dramatic but seriously in our Christian culture today singleness can be looked down upon.
Well let me tell you. First I truly have a desire to serve the Lord through a marriage and as a mother. That is a sincere desire of my heart. But right now I am single. I love it. I have so much free time to do whatever I want, and sometimes things I don't want. The point is I have SO MUCH TIME. I love that I can somewhat drop my life and help someone out, or that my Friday mornings before work can be used to watch little ones, or that my Saturday nights during the holiday's can be used to watch more little ones, or I can meet my bestie whenever for coffee, or that my work schedule is not greatly impacting anyone's life but mine. I love singleness.
God has grown me so much over the past few years I am so thank for that. I was even blessed to hear from church family recently of my continued growth since a mission's trip over five years ago.Praise God. God is still working in and through me. He might be doing even more work in and through because I am single.
I know that when the time is right and the person is right my mindset will shift. I know that I will enjoy being accountable in a relationship, having a little bit more restrictive schedule, that I will enjoy the fact that I don't do anything I want whenever I want, because I would be thinking about that other person as well. And when that time comes I will embrace and love it as well.
Don't get me wrong though I struggle with singleness all the same. Sometimes my struggle is real, heart felt. And sometimes my struggle is because I'm selfish!
I see friends and coworkers getting married and starting families. I long to have precious little boys (I'm not sold on having girls yet...) I desire to serve God in a union. I desire my own home where I can assist in leading my children to learn, know, and grow in God. I desire to be lead by a man who loves the Lord more than anything or anyone else.
And then there are the days that I want to be married because then I could quit my job and be a stay at home wife. I want to get marrieds so I can be a full-time student, because seriously I will be forever learner. I want to get married so I have someone to go on vacation with, cabin by yourself is really not that cool. I want to get married so I can live on my own (anyone who knows me well knows I don't function well overnight in the house by myself)
My love and struggle in singleness is real. I love the Lord and serving Him. I love this season in life, but look forward to the next. God is good. When our utmost desire is to serve Him, glorify Him, please Him, when we are seeking what God's will for our life is; God will give us the desires of our heart.
Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"
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