To be Free in Christ

What does it mean to be free in Christ? Well up until a year and a half ago I could only talk about it in relative terms. To be free in Christ was to no longer be a slave to sin, you are no longer held in bondage by sin. I understood this, but was struggling to grasp this in a couple area's of my life.

A year and a half ago God opened my eyes to sin in my life. I can stand here today and say with all confidence that I know what it is to be free from sin in Christ. I understand giving sin over to Christ and pleading for help. I understand the joy found in hearing your savior I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Over the past year and a half God has freed me from two specific sins that I can think of. One started when I was twelve. Our house (garage really) was broke into. The garage was closest to my bedroom and I am convinced I was awake when it happened. That night changed my life. For the next year I would spend at least four nights a week sleeping on my parents floor because I was certain that I heard something. After about a year I was more capable of sleeping in my room but I would spend many sleepless nights freaked out, wide awake.

Sleeping over at other peoples homes was great, there was this odd safety found in being somewhere other than home.

Some how after graduating high school I managed to live on my own for 6 months, with little to no issues. The some how is obviously God's hand in my life.

When I went to college at BBC in PA I never had issues, I felt save. I was on a college campus, with security. I had a roommate. And for most of the two years I slept on the top bunk.

In May 2011 I moved home... There was peace and safety found in the nights that someone chose to sleep on the couch. Some how knowing that someone was right below me sleeping made me feel safe. However I still didn't handle being home alone at night well. And going to sleep after everyone else, or before anyone was home was extremely difficult if not impossible. I was not usually an anxious person but come night, I was an anxious mess.

Things only continued to get worse. My brother went off to college which often meant no one was sleeping on the couch. My parents would take the occasional weekend trip, which meant I couldn't sleep.

Last fall my anxiety become sin. I began to allow this anxiety of someone breaking into our house and killing me to take over my life. The instant I would crawl into bed I heard things, a car pulling into the driveway, someone walking around downstairs. My anxiety got so bad that my heart would race, I thought it would beat out of my chest. Nothing I tried would clam my body. Sometimes I would almost shake from the anxiety building up within me. Sometimes all I could think about were the creepy CSI like shows I had watched and what was surely to happen to me within seconds. Some nights I would think on, at least if it happens I can share the gospel with them....

Finally while talking to my parents about this growing issue my dad said I allowed this to become a sin in my life and I needed to deal with it. In an instant I felt shell shocked, surely he did not just say that.... Praise God he did. I had allowed anxiety to control me. I had allowed it so much control in my life it had become a sin. I can't name the date but I know sometime late last fall I prayed that God would take the burden of this sin. I prayed that I would give this anxiety over to God. I knew that I could not fight sin on my own, that in everything I do I need Christ. I finally realized that I was trying to fight this loosing battle alone. Once I allowed Christ to help me, I was free. I had always known that in Christ I was free from sin, in fact by God's grace He was firmly planted beside me fighting other battles in my life. However, in this instance I was allowing myself to stay in the bondage of fear.

I am so thankful for a great high priest who has passed through the heaven, who can sympathize with our weakness, yet without sin. I am thankful that I can go confidently to the throne of grace. I am thankful that He powerfully works His energy within me.

Give your sin to Christ, stop trying to do it alone. You will only fail. Only He can free you from the bondage it holds on you.