God's Calling

Tonight I was read Genesis 12. This passage is about God calling Abraham. God calls each of us to something or someone. If God has saved you He has called you. But what has He called us too? Clearly from Matthew 28, the great commission, we know that God has called us all to share the gospel. However how each of us is called to share the gospel will look different.

I was reflecting God's calling in my life. I know God has called me to my current place of employment and to the Foundations ministry at our church. But sometimes I just want a new calling, a new battlefield. Why? Because I am a sinner and I sin. There are days that I examine my behavior, the things I say, why I say the things I say, my responses, my attitude, etc... Upon examination I find that I have really missed great opportunities or opened a door of doubt for others. Sometimes I look at the lives of those around me, those that I would say show Christ likeness and I think how do they do it? Why can't I do it? I would like just once to walk away from an opportunity to share Christ and feel like I actually did what God has called me to do.

I ponder on these thoughts often. Most times I just want to leave and start over, because surely I wouldn't dare make the same mistakes somewhere else... ha! What I realize is God needs me to stay more than ever, and I need to surrender my entire self to Him. One of the biggest voices for God is our actions. If others could see me change from one thing into another, see my relationship with Christ grow and strengthen then maybe they could see that there is something different about me. They Lord willing could come to a saving knowledge of Christ. I don't want to be of the world. It is like the world to give up on things... when things get hard we should just bail and start over. Just like I want to do with my ministry and testimony, because I have messed up.

Tonight I am thankful for God's grace and mercy. The fact that He loves me, and as I surrender my life to Him completely, completely trusting Him, He will change me. Others I hope will see that change, because I want to see a change in my life. I want to be someone people look to and think I want her faith. I want the faith of Anna, who prayed to see her savior before her death, knowing that if you have faith in God to move mountains, God will move mountains. Anna saw her Savior, her faith was seen and marked by many, and all she was doing was demonstrating her faith. I don't want this for attention, ok to be honest some small part of me wants the attention. I am a prideful sinner... no excuse, but all the same a prideful sinner. But I want these things truly, because I want people to think of God when they think of me or my faith or my example or anything about my life. I want my life to point to Christ in every aspect, even if you only knew me for a second. I have a lot of growing to do. But I am thankful that I have serve a God who is patient. His patience with me amazes me, I would have long given up on. So thankful that we serve a God who would NEVER give up on one of His chosen children. May we all seek to point our lives to Christ.