Life and Relationships

Ok so sometimes life really gets the best of you.... or maybe just me. I have found myself totally engulfed in my life, except with that has come a distraction from God. I hadn't been reading my Bible as often, praying as often, etc. It is so frustrating when you know you are letting the enemy win, yet you aren't stopping it. I guess that is when I realized that I am trying to do this all on my own, and I don't have to. God is here to help me and guide me. Maybe its just me but sometimes I can't help but think that I shouldn't have to rely on God, He has done so much for me and I just keep failing Him. However that is how it works I am to turn to God in my time of trouble, struggle, or praise. That is just so hard sometimes. Sometimes I wish it wasn't so hard, but then if it wasn't hard would it be worth it. I am this awful sinner, who deserves Hell. Christ dying on a cross and being resurrected has changed that for me. If God made it easy to walk His path it wouldn't seem worth all the pain and suffering that Christ endured.

I have often heard the gate is wide the path is narrow. I didn't really much understand that until more recently. Living for God is harder and harder each day I think. As I repent for my sins and examine myself daily there is more that I find problematic, meaning the next day will be harder because my list of sins to fight is longer. However I guess to the same extent once you realize a sin in your life you can ask God to help you fight it. So possibly it could get easier. But still the more I read God's word and the more I study and learn, the harder it gets.

Life would be simple if it works based...we could all serve and be done. But thankfully it isn't, our salvation comes with a relationship with Christ. What a beautiful picture. I am addicted to this show heartland, in it Amy (the main character) talks a lot about relationships towards horses. She said that you don't want a I'm the boss relationship but a trust relationship. That really made me think about my relationship with God. Don't get me wrong He is still the boss, and thank goodness for it! But at the same time I need a relationship with Him built on trust. And for the more I read and pray and live/serve for Christ the more reason there is to trust Him. For starters he spent the entire Old Testament setting the scene for the New Testament. How can you not trust a God who does what He says he is going to do. Over and over you see comparisons between New and Old testament that prove trust in the Lord. He does what He says He will.

Just a lot running through my mind. Random I know.... Just interesting to see God working in my life and thankful that He is in control of my life and not me. I am also so thankful that even when life takes over and I don't pay enough attention to God that he doesn't respond the same back to me. Praise God truly for who He is and what He has done. Blows me away the more I read and study. I truly can't wait to spend eternity with Christ worshiping Him for evermore, seriously what a beautiful picture.